Another Friday Night

May 1, 2010

In the city that I currently live in, there are two gay bars.

One is marketed to gay men. The other is marketed to gay women.

When you walk into the first one, you’ll see that 70% of the patrons are gay men, 15% are straight women who want to look at pretty gay boys, and 10% are straight men who decided that a gay bar is their best chance of snogging a girl. If I say that 5% are lesbians, that’s probably an exaggeration. But let’s go with this number for now.

As for the second one, it’s supposed to be for gay women. Somewhere down the road, college girls decided it’s just the place for them, and creepy straight guys followed. Now the breakdown looks like  this: 50% straight girls, 25% gay guys, 20% straight guys, and maybe 5% gay girls.

So if you’re a lesbian, you’re screwed either way. The only question is whether you want to hang out with straight girls or gay boys.

Last night, I decided to have a Corona at the gay boys’ bar.

About 5 minutes after walking in, I ran into a co-worker who was there with his date. There was an amateur strip show at the back of the bar, so we joined the crowd and commented on the general awkwardness of straight women stripping before a predominantly gay male audience.

Then, co-worker left to presumably do more interesting stuff at home, while I went to the bar and ordered some fries to go with my beer. While waiting for the fries, a straight guy approached me not once, not twice, but three times. The third time he forgot my name, too. But he did remember to say that I’m beautiful and he’d like to dance/talk/take me home that night. Each time I had to emphasize that lesbian means likes girls.

Then the cute girl on my left introduced herself to me. She was straight and wondering why she hasn’t gotten many guys hitting on her. Again, darling, it’s a gay bar. And the only straight men here are creepers. You don’t want those in your bed.

People interested in me at the gay bar last night:

gay men: 2

straight men: 1

straight women: 1

gay women: 0

Oh, how I love this city.


One Response to “Another Friday Night”

  1. N said

    Where there also 17s sneaking in and drinking pink shit? Sounds like heaven that bar….

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