3 is company?

August 27, 2010

Today, I was woken up by a text. “Can I get my books back? Also, would you be interested in a threesome with me and a friend?”

The text came from The Bartender. The Bartender has nice breasts and very good taste in literature. Apparently, she also likes threesomes. Who knew.

It seems like everyone is into threesomes lately. Over the last 3 years, I’ve had about 10 offers, from friends, co-workers, total strangers. RedGirl has been trying to convince me to do one for about half a year now. The Bartender’s offer is much more exciting than RedGirl’s, since it involves a third girl rather than a guy. But in general, I don’t get the hype.

Physically, it can be exhausting. Lesbians already go on for hours. If the regular average with your partner is 3 hours, think about doing it for 5-6 with another girl thrown in the mix. Next day, everything will hurt, you will have bruises on your upper thighs, bite marks on your neck, and chapped lips. Some of us actually have work to go to in the morning, and I don’t want to look like I’ve been run over by two trains in front of the CIO!

The quality of the sex does not necessarily improve with quantity. Splitting attention between two women might not make you a better lover. Just saying.

Threesomes are by nature voyeuristic. You are watching two people have sex in front of you. I realize that this is part of the kick. But, have you ever watched bad porn? What if you couldn’t turn it off? Your threesome may very well turn out similar to that experience.

More people is invitation to more insecurities. With just one partner, you can ignore the fact that her legs are longer than yours – after all, you got her in bed with you, didn’t you? With two girls as your partners, you start thinking – what if girl A really prefers girl B? What if they just want to be left alone? Even if you are very secure and confident, one of your partners might not be, and that will ruin the whole mood.

Which is not to say that a threesome couldn’t be an interesting new experience for you and your partners. But it’s not really as exciting as the adult films would have you think!


4 Responses to “3 is company?”

  1. […] are correct, The Bartender. The story of The Bartender starts out with this post and plays out in a few […]

  2. […] In the morning, I take the book with me in my purse. Sometimes I return them. If they ask for them back. […]

  3. […] In the morning, I take the book with me in my purse. Sometimes I return them. If they ask for them back. […]

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