The Bookshelf

October 13, 2011

Whenever I go over to a new girl’s house, there are two places that I check out.

The first one is the kitchen. Alcohol facilitates new… friendships, and the type of alcohol stored in the pantry (hard vs wine vs beer, vodka vs tequila) says a lot about the owner of the kitchen. The gay girl’s kitchen deserves its own separate entry.

The second one is the bookshelf. What you read is what you are. That doesn’t mean that a Harvard-educated woman can’t read a Cosmopolitan or that a shelf full of Nietzche implies an IQ of 180. But in my personal experience, the summary of the reading material reflects quite a bit.

Actually, I’m a bit of a book thief.

My Philosophy

I look through the books, I pick out something I haven’t seen before, look at the girl, bat my eyelashes, and say, “I’d like to read this”.

In the morning, I take the book with me in my purse. Sometimes I return them. If they ask for them back.

From The Ex’s house, I took Chuck Palahniuk’s Choke. She had certain family issues, was very thoughtful and attentive, and began her sex life early. When we were dating, she was in a strange place in her life and unsure of where she was going. She hasn’t actually read Choke.

From The Bartender’s house, I took Milan Kundera’s Slowness and Ernest Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises, among many others. She had the best book collection of anyone I’ve met so far (to my taste). She had a nihilist philosophy on life and a jealous loser faux-philosopher sort-of-boyfriend. We understood each other without talking much. In fact, we almost never talked.

In BlondeGirl’s house, I found Vita Sackville-West’s Challenge. She has the fastest mind of anyone I know, overthinks, overplans, overcalculates, and is a master at running away from herself.

From The Architect’s house, I took John Boyne’s The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. She’s idealistic and needs to get a girlfriend. Someone sweet, young, and supportive.

From La Azafata’s house, I took a manual by Walter Riso, Amar o Depender, on dependency issues in love. We have really good physical chemistry. She is in the process of sorting herself out, which is good. Unfortunately, it took her a move to another country to start doing so.

My latest acquisition is Eduardo Mendoza’s Sin Noticias de Gurb. Sarcastically intellectual and easy to read. We’ll see what that means, if anything.


5 Responses to “The Bookshelf”

  1. N said

    Darling, and what about your bookshelf? It’s all about Márquez, and Cortázar and Borges. While your kitchen is all about good yogurt, Starbucks cold cappuccinos, vanilla flavor of course, and orange juice, so angelic : D

  2. Anonymous said

    I’m glad N asked this question, I was wondering the same thing. Actually, I really was wondering what book I would be taking in the morning…. 🙂 I am assuming probably either the one you just took, Borges or Kundera’s, if you still have it. I agree that books call tell a lot about a person…Although I’d have to admit that I tend to go for the music or film collection first 🙂

    • I’m not so sure about the music collection.. mine ranges from Soviet prison music to Spanish flamenco to Pink Floyd to Lady Gaga. I guess women I sleep with assume I’m schizophrenic?

  3. Wonderful post but I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this topic? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit more. Thanks!

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