The Cancer lesbians are especially close to my heart. They include The Ex, BlondeGirl, some Danish women, and even the particularly attractive roommates of the days past. 

How to Keep or Repel a Cancer Girlfriend

The Cancer lesbian is soft, loving, and patient. When she is not talking about her feelings, she is thinking of them. The word “sensitive” was invented for this girl.

Sensitive, emotional, patient

She blushes at the mere thought of someone openly flirting with her. Secretly, though, she loves the attention.

Seduction of a Cancer lesbian is an intricate interview process. You will have to withstand hundreds of coffee dates, months of holding hands, and hours of late-night conversations. She will tell you about her developing feelings, about her changing sexuality, about all her exes. Especially ones she broke up with years ago. Be ready to wait out the times she gets moody and withdrawn, dealing with an issue long past. All the while she will, of course, refer to you as “a friend” to anyone that inquires.

Cancers never forget their exes. Their shadows accumulate with years, and every new potential girlfriend needs to measure up to all of their good qualities. The bad qualities Cancer is still trying hard to understand.

The Cancer lesbian is the one who will brood over a girl who three years ago went out on two dates with her, failed to understand her complicated soul, dared to try to kiss her, and then never called back. Cancer will bring up the topic again and again over wine with her girlfriends, asking how could anyone be so insensitive. It’s not a rhetorical question – she cannot comprehend that someone would not consider her feelings or that someone might be looking for just a one-night stand. For a Cancer, any potentially sexual connection is deeply emotional.

A Cancer needs an outgoing, open girlfriend who will push her outside of her shell. Two Cancers in a relationship would never have sex. “You start.” “No, you start”. However, you won’t regret getting her into bed. Probably thanks to the emotional attachment, a Cancer is very attentive to her partner’s needs.

But, once you take off this lesbian’s pants, you got yourself a serious girlfriend. Cancers don’t do casual dating. Every day you are with her, you’re one step closer to marriage. A long-term companionship is the secret dream of every Cancer. If you don’t see babies with a Cancer in your future, you may need to break up with her.

To do so, start sleeping around or bragging about the past lovers you’ve had, in great detail. Tell her you don’t like cuddling under the blanket and watching TV with her. Invite your Cancer girlfriend to the bars, 7 times a week. She will go through these stages:

Stage one. The Cancer lesbian will take buckets and buckets of shit from her partner. It’s not that she sees the shit as roses (as may be the case with an in-love Aries). The Cancer lesbian just accepts the shit, and hopes she will one day understand its content and chemical make-up.

Stage two. She will still continue taking the shit. Patiently. Now she’s starting to define the shit as shit, but she won’t say anything out loud. She’s afraid that she is the one that makes her partner unhappy, and if she says something, she’ll get a complaint back.

Stage three. She will start voicing minor, polite questions. “Did you buy the milk? Has the dog been walked?” But she will be too ashamed of her own bravery to hear the answers.

Stage four. A Cancer forms her own space, with her friends, her own milk, her own dog. One day, she disappears completely into a new life. With minimal complaints or scandals.

If you do decide to come back to a Cancer, think twice. by proclaiming such intentions, you may end up torturing Cancer’s soul with “what ifs”. Be careful – she is unlikely to step back into the same river.

Will probably marry: Virgo and Pisces

Will remember as the crazy girlfriend: Gemini and Sagittarius