I’ve accidentally erased this post two times and lost all the funny in the process. Grrr, crappy hotel connections! Sagittariuses are some of my favorite friends with benefits.

How to Keep or Repel a Sagittarius Girlfriend

Even the femmiest Sagittarius girls are knights at heart. These girls are brave, honest, and hate all restrictions.

A Sagittarius lesbian needs to truly believe that what she is doing is making a difference in the world. Where a Capricorn will grit her teeth and put up with a high-pressure corporate job for the faint glimpse of a better future, and where a Scorpio will silently hook up with her co-workers to release stress, a Sagittarius will quit and buy a one-way ticket to Indonesia. She will live on the beach, surf by day, and help kickstart microfinance grassroots organizations by night.

Lucy Liu Lesbian

Don’t be fooled by the demure look. She can kick your ass.

Seduction of a Sagittarius lesbian begins when you first meet her. Though she will tell you she doesn’t believe in love at first sight, you either impress her right away or forget about the scissor dance. Try a mix of the following: mysterious air, quick wit, and style. For clothing, well-tailored and short is a winning combination. For talktime, the social energy of an Aries or a Gemini seems to do the trick. Sprinkle a little bit of shy on the side so she feels like she needs to protect and guide you. Remember – she is your princess in shining armor!

The Sag les girls would love nothing more than for you to join them on their adventures. Explore new horizons together! The horizons can include fitness, new food, saving the world – or the occasional lounging by the pool followed by dancing all night.

If you can prove your worth as a trusty sidekick, you’ve got yourself a friend for life. No one is more loyal than a Sagittarius. These les girls are the best at being friends with benefits, in part because they don’t do jealousy. She is the one you can call at 3 am for straightforward, no-strings attached sex. But if the next day, you get back with your ex-girlfriend, she will be truly happy for you (and maybe even relieved that she no longer has to get up in the middle of the night for your booty calls).

Speaking of sex, Sagittarius is the proverbial “butch in the streets, femme in the sheets”. This lesbian will do what she needs to in order to please you and she is very enthusiastic. But topping her is the real key to keeping the Sag les in your bed.

If you do decide to take it a step further and can match the Sag les as a partner in crime, show her that you understand how faithful and dependable she is. The best way to compliment a Sagittarius is to casually mention how amazing she to your friends and have her accidentally overhear it. She will be surprised to find out how much you value her.

As a girlfriend, the Sagittarius lesbian will never complain and will focus on supporting you. Just be ready to share her attention with friends, co-workers, and even strangers. She might be getting up at the middle of the night to fix their problems now (though typically she’ll stay away from hands-on sex therapy). So keep your insecurities and possessiveness out of the relationship! The more carefree you can stay, the better your chances of keeping her.

To break up with a Sagittarius, overanalyze her, yourself, and your relationship. Bonus points for long, intricate “woe is me” stories. Be negative and clingy; do not leave her side in public. At first, she will try her best to listen to your sad accounts and to get you out of the black hole she perceives you to be in. But she will be the one to file for divorce as soon as she is sure she’s never getting back the old adventurous, relaxed companionship she signed up for.

Stage one. The Sagittarius doesn’t really care. She’s not a Capricorn or a Virgo les with a virtual Excel spreadsheet in her mind. Her take on minor issues is “Whatever.”

Stage two. Hope. The Sagittarius lesbian listens to you, spends time with you, and becomes just a little more involved. She might even try to limit her time with the crew of IT guys from work. “I need to work on our relationship” will be her mantra.

Stage three. This is the “What the fuck” stage. Sagittarius does pretty well at seeing the big picture. When things change from white to black, she just might notice and be flabbergasted. Sagittarius doesn’t really understand why someone would just keep doing the same shitty things over and over again. She might sign you up for therapy sessions, the gym, take you to bowling – anything that she can think about to get you out of the funk. Keep in mind that by this point, Sagittarius is a little angry that this seems to be ongoing. Sag lesbians are great at fixing short-term problems, but long-term issues depress them.

Stage four. Sagittarius is done. Once she has decided to leave, there is no turning back. Where an Aquarius might just slip out of a relationship, Sagittarius will make it precisely clear: she has a new home, planning to date a new girlfriend, and has packed her suitcases. Okay, love? Bye.

Favorite Damsels in Distress: Gemini and Aries

Will Leave Burning: Pisces and Taurus

As Usual

May 25, 2013

I’m working on the Sagittarius post. It will be ready sometime this weekend, I’m sure!

I’ve also been a little scandalous lately. Or maybe a little masochistic? Straight, married, and salt on her neck and my taste in her mouth.

Image

Pretty Much Sums It Up

As soon as the baby Scorpio enters her teens, she gets a little present from the universe. Her breath turns into sexual poison, and no one stays unaffected by it. If there is one girl in your life who is mysterious, alluring, and sexual in the most casual situations, it is probably the Scorpio lesbian. If you want to get rid of her curse – read on!

How to Keep or Repel a Scorpio Girlfriend.

While the baby Scorpio usually doesn’t realize the amount of sexual venom in her blood, it doesn’t take her long to figure it out. A Scorpio is almost never egotistical, but she does need to get in lust with herself first prior to moving on to other women. Scorpio is her own best lover. Think Santana Lopez from Glee: once she figured out who she was and what she wanted, there was no stopping her.

Once you do meet a fully hatched Scorpio les, how do you seduce her?

You need to be the most original, the most mysterious woman she ever came across. You need to be organized, put-together, and independent. Hints, insinuations, and flirting are great side weapons to keep the Scorpio’s interest, but you need to be ready to be honest and open, too. Games infuriate Scorpios. She will want to open up to you more as she gets to know you, but you have to do it first. A Scorpio lesbian hates feeling dependent on others or vulnerable.

She would tie you up.

She will tie you up.

Scorpio is either your best friend or your worst enemy. The alternative is to be non-existent in her world. To love a Scorpio lesbian is to believe with your whole heart that she is the very, very best (think Brittany S. Pierce’s feelings for Santana). You can’t love a Scorpio “in sickness and in health, for better or for worse” – Scorpio les is never “worse”!

If a Scorpio knows she is loved, she is the best girlfriend on the planet. She can do anything and better than anyone. She is generous with her money, with her attention, with her love. However, she is also demanding to you and to herself. If you match the demands, together you will be invincible. And don’t forget about your appearance. A Scorpio les cares a lot about hers, and you need to show a matching inner discipline. If you are this lesbian’s partner, you can’t wear the same sweatshirt and skinny jeans all year long. Put some thought into it!

In sex, please keep your dirty words to yourself. Oh, you’re welcome to DO as many dirty things as you’d like. But just do them, let the Scorpio be a pillow princess every once in a while. Even the mighty get tired of dominating all the time.

Scorpios do not break up. And if they do, they are typically the ones who do it first. But if you decide to make sure the two of you don’t talk again, criticize her. Better yet, fuel her self-criticism. Dress badly. Smell like fish. Keep your secrets and spread all of hers. Here are the stages you will go through when getting rid of her.

Stage 1. There can be nothing’s wrong in a Scorpio’s world. Nothing. She is perfect. Hence, you are perfect. Done!

Stage 2. Scorpio gets a little paranoid. Less about you, and more about herself. Is she missing something? Should she be doing something different? Can she do something better? So she starts asking her partner some questions. More often, statements. “Not sure if you saw, but I called you yesterday.” “There is no dinner today.” “Someone showed up here saying she was your girlfriend.” If she gets answers, she will consider them carefully. She is very fair and will definitely consider her partner’s explanations. That is, if the partner can be calm enough to have a discussion.

Stage 3. Quiet depression stage. Although a Scorpio girl typically looks inclined to drama, she actually hates scandals. This stage is when the Scorpio les spends lots of time with her friends and family, and very limited with her significant other. She does not address the issues in her relationship until she is ready to leave.

Stage 4. The Scorpio les leaves her partner. This sign more often than others is able to stay fuckbuddies with her exes. But there are no more feelings, no romance, no adoration. She feels selfish for leaving and will feel shitty about leaving (hence the extra sex). But she leaves anyway, like any good masochist.

Will attract: Virgo and Sagittarius.

Love/hate relationship: Leo and Capricorn.

Most-Est Kisses

February 14, 2013

Firstest: French party, in bed with two girls and two more boys. One of the girls kissed me, then the other. Then they kissed each other. I was the most confused 17-year-old.

Longest: Tiny Danish gay bar, pink shots, long pretty hair, leather jackets (hers and mine). Several hours non-stop.

Most anticipated: Cold winter of American North, her couch. I kissed her eyes, she bit my neck. We closed the blinds.

Most redeeming: Don’t remember: why I was pissed off. Remember: who slammed whom against which wall when, Spanish DJ playing Mr. Saxobeat, making out/smoking in the windowsill.

Image

That windowsill, oversaturated.

Most dramatic: Warm fall of American South, gay men’s bar, yelling and crying, holding hands in the morning. Beautiful/agonizing.

Most comforting: Married, friend of a friend. “Never have I ever kissed [you]”. She tucked me into bed and stroked my hair and told me everything would be okay.

A Libra girl is an especially interesting kind of a les. That is, if she even agrees that “lesbian” is the right way to describe her. If you’re trying to capture her heart, and she miiiight be into girls, and she miiiiight be a Libra – keep reading.

How to Keep or Repel a Libra Girlfriend.

A Libra girl is into flexibility. And exploration. And freedom. And no labels!

And why not make everyone talk about you while you’re at it?

Until she gets to pick her own label. Then it’s okay! Maybe. Does she need to make a decision now? Why can’t things just stay the way they are? They are perfectly okay now.

For looking like they can never make up their minds, Libras actually have whole books of Libra-rules in their pretty Libra-heads. The rules are very particular and you won’t understand. That Libra-rules compilation is kind of like an organic cookbook. Make sure you use the right ingredients first, and THEN we’ll talk about prep steps. These girls know you’re not quite ready for their way of life yet, so they won’t bore you with the explanations and just give you what you need at this particular point, but in the way that still meets the rules. The tofu turkey was probably invented for a Libra les vegetarian.

To seduce a Libra, tell her about your own rules. If you don’t have any, make them up! Make it seem like you have every state’s penal code in your head, and tell her tales of common-law cases. How you solved the case of the disappearing girlfriend or how you defended your messy partner will give her clues of what to expect and how to move around you. The more complicated, the better! The Libra Les needs to get lost in the entanglement before losing her guard.

Libras are very cautious. It’s not that they dislike making choices, they just hate doing something they can’t un-do. If they could choose to marry someone with the promise that at any point, they could return everything to the way it was when they were dating, they would! In a heartbeat. You can always convince a Libra to do something “just for fun” and “just to try”.  Tell her she can leave at any point, and she will stay till the end.

Libras are so very charming, diplomatic, and open-minded. They know exactly what to say in which company. These les girls are wonderful to take to a work party, and tend to get along with everyone’s parents.

However, do not argue with a Libra or question her judgment. Where a Virgo would thank you for the feedback and think of ways to make her cherry pie taste just like your mom’s, the Libra will explode. And if you prove her wrong, you are wrong. So don’t even start it.

In bed, Libra is the most explorative sign of the Zodiac. Nothing is quite off-limits. Don’t take her to Vegas with you, or you may find your $500 chip stuck where you least expected.

Libra is the one sign that probably doesn’t mind you sharing some of your sexual adventures with your buddies. If she looks good in your story, it’s on! Of course, you have to look good in your story, too. No one wants to date a loser, and least of all a Libra.

Being boring, making her look bad, and not going out with her are all good ways to get a Libra to leave. Negative comments and picking fights are another. No Libra is going to stay around for a fight. She has much more fun things to do! Here are the stages that she will go through when packing her bags.

Stage 1. So what if you didn’t iron your dress tonight – looking like a bum is en vogue this year, anyway. She loves you and all your imperfections just make you hotter in her eyes. She’ll just kiss you and hug you a tiny bit more.

Stage 2. Libra is still supporting you – as a charity case. She needs to practice her niceness skills, right? Why not on you? You’re around, anyway. So she’ll try. To be nicer. And maybe iron that dress of yours. So you don’t look like an idiot.

Stage 3. The Libra les starts to think psychology. She has little private psychoanalysis sessions with her friends. And the friends of her friends. And the friends of the friends of her friends, trying to figure out what’s wrong with you, with her, and how to fix it? She might go on a break with you. And then take you back. Nothing is definite here. Everything is, “working on our relationship”.

Stage 4. Closing the door. Quietly, sloooowly. No one’s peace need be disturbed. Everything will to be done with class. If you’re a Libra’s ex, you might not have even realized you are out of the picture until one day you try to find the key from her apartment, and realize you haven’t been there for a few months.

Sometimes, your Libra ex may come back into your bed. Just to cuddle, you know? No reason you two can’t still be friends. This is the girl that keeps a string of exes around as friends, and doesn’t get jealous if they end up liking each other at some point down the line. Her friends can do no wrong and if you get into this zone, all your romantic transgressions are in the past. Pretty memories and friendly talk is really not a bad way to end a relationship.

Will have a threesome with: Gemini and Taurus.

Would never experiment with: Capricorn and Cancer.

Sunday Vote

November 13, 2011

Let’s take a poll.

And something to thank you for voting…

Who said libraries are not sexy?

Edited out just in case.

Femme in the streets, green in the sheets.

 





The Bookshelf

October 13, 2011

Whenever I go over to a new girl’s house, there are two places that I check out.

The first one is the kitchen. Alcohol facilitates new… friendships, and the type of alcohol stored in the pantry (hard vs wine vs beer, vodka vs tequila) says a lot about the owner of the kitchen. The gay girl’s kitchen deserves its own separate entry.

The second one is the bookshelf. What you read is what you are. That doesn’t mean that a Harvard-educated woman can’t read a Cosmopolitan or that a shelf full of Nietzche implies an IQ of 180. But in my personal experience, the summary of the reading material reflects quite a bit.

Actually, I’m a bit of a book thief.

My Philosophy

I look through the books, I pick out something I haven’t seen before, look at the girl, bat my eyelashes, and say, “I’d like to read this”.

In the morning, I take the book with me in my purse. Sometimes I return them. If they ask for them back.

From The Ex’s house, I took Chuck Palahniuk’s Choke. She had certain family issues, was very thoughtful and attentive, and began her sex life early. When we were dating, she was in a strange place in her life and unsure of where she was going. She hasn’t actually read Choke.

From The Bartender’s house, I took Milan Kundera’s Slowness and Ernest Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises, among many others. She had the best book collection of anyone I’ve met so far (to my taste). She had a nihilist philosophy on life and a jealous loser faux-philosopher sort-of-boyfriend. We understood each other without talking much. In fact, we almost never talked.

In BlondeGirl’s house, I found Vita Sackville-West’s Challenge. She has the fastest mind of anyone I know, overthinks, overplans, overcalculates, and is a master at running away from herself.

From The Architect’s house, I took John Boyne’s The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. She’s idealistic and needs to get a girlfriend. Someone sweet, young, and supportive.

From La Azafata’s house, I took a manual by Walter Riso, Amar o Depender, on dependency issues in love. We have really good physical chemistry. She is in the process of sorting herself out, which is good. Unfortunately, it took her a move to another country to start doing so.

My latest acquisition is Eduardo Mendoza’s Sin Noticias de Gurb. Sarcastically intellectual and easy to read. We’ll see what that means, if anything.

Roles and Eye Make-Up

October 1, 2011

I think sometimes we subconsciously decide to play out a certain scenario and then fit certain people into the prescribed roles. I see that in my friends who suddenly decide they need to get married rightthisminute and get hitched to the first guy who fits the explicit requirements (for example, tall/dark/a doctor). They want to star in the show “perfect housewife”, and that’s totally fine if that’s what makes them happy.

However, playing out past scenarios can happen in the most innocuous situations, too.

Several years ago, I had just met The Ex. We were going out for Halloween with a large group of people, we were just getting to know each other, I felt a little awkward. I wasn’t sure if she was interested.

We were both standing in front of the big mirror in the bathroom. I was supposed to be a sexy zebra (don’t ask), so I was wearing a striped zebra nightie. I was screwing up the make-up, though. So she turned to me, dipped her finger in the white paint, and started outlining my eye. I closed my eyes. She traced the contours of my face. I remember exactly how I felt in that moment: vulnerable, emotional. Connected. Letting go.

Eye Shadow Lesbians

This June, it was gay pride. I went out with La Azafata, with a large group of people. We had just started getting to know each other. It was a little awkward. I wasn’t sure if she was interested. We were standing in front of a big mirror in the bathroom in a gay bar. I was trying to fix my rainbow make-up. She turned to me, dipped her finger in the blue paint, and ran her fingers from the bridge of my nose to the edge of my forehead. And I had that similar rush of feelings.

Funnily enough, she reminds me a lot of The Ex.

In Support Of Hardwoods

September 26, 2011

I haven’t made a scandalous post in a while.

So this one is going to be about hardwood floors.

Some women like to keep a nice rug. They think it makes their guests feel more comfy maybe, or they don’t like the little breeze that comes with hardwood floors. For some reason, gay girls are especially fond of their rugs. Well, a well-maintained, nice-smelling carpet is nothing to be upset about. But in the apartments that I rent (and even more so when it comes to houses to buy), I much prefer hardwood floors.

Hardwood floors – means nothing there. Brazilian waxes and creams can help you maintain them clean and clear. I personally am just militant with my razor. How to get it right: wet, put cream, shave, put more cream. The one-time razors that have already been used are better than the heavy-duty ones because they’re less sharp. And you don’t want anything too sharp on your pretty hardwood.

I disagree that it’s a little girl look. I mean, if you can’t distinguish adult parts from little girl ones, then you have a problem that I don’t want to know about.

Plus, the texture of the wood. The smell of it. The knots and the grain. No carpet can beat that.

And I don’t think that all bare means high-maintenance or stripper or sex maniac. Actually, though, I have found that it makes scissoring that much more effective. Rugs = carpet burn. Oily hardwoods at close contact = perfection. You can skate all night!

Drew Barrymore Skating On Hardwoods

Scarves & Sleeves

September 20, 2011

You know all the signs of a lesbian, right?

Flannel shirts. Tattoos. Asymmetric earrings.

But there are some that are so subtle, I never hear anyone mention them. Yet most who sport them are, if not gay, are at least interested in trying. Today, let’s talk about two.

The first is rolled up sleeves.

Exhibit A: Ellen DeGeneres

The second is hipstery scarves. Especially in the cities that never go below 20 degrees.

Exhibit B: Kristen Stewart

Agreed?

Why You Should Be Out

September 15, 2011

Some of you are wondering whether to come out of the closet.

You should come out.

Some of you are wondering whether to label yourself. “Gay, bi, lesbian, queer, experimenting… What’s the difference? I like who I like”.

You should label yourself.

Some of us can hide. We are stereotypically feminine, we like the things that we’re supposed to like (or we pretend well), or we have a very supportive inner network that will protect and cocoon us from the rest of the world.

True Blood's Queen Sophie-Anne: "I haven't enjoyed sex with men since the Eisenhower administration."

However, others don’t have that chance. They like wearing men’s clothes. Or they can’t restrain from kissing their girlfriends in public. Or they just want to take their wife and kids to a family picnic. The more of us stay inside the closet, the harder it will be for those that are forced out, by nature or by circumstance. We need to stay visible in order to keep the awareness that gay people exist and that it’s normal.

And with the importance of being out comes the importance of labels. If you don’t label yourself, you are seen as the “status quo”. Sure, you can argue that “but why does the world see me as heterosexual if I don’t say anything”, but that’s a moot point. Straight is the default option in most of our cultures. Maybe it will stop being the default if all of us keep reminding the society that it’s not the only option. Not to mention, if you don’t label yourself, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have a label or that the old lady from around the corner won’t slap one on you.

Also, choosing a label (even if it’s something like, bicuriousexperimentingconfused) allows you to effectively communicate to the world what you are and where you’re going. Which is, of course, if you know where you are going.

I believe that being direct and open about your sexual identity is essential for your well-being and for your ability to be productive at work. An acquaintance that recently came out says she is no longer paranoid about what people think of her.

For workers who are not out at work, there might even be a wage penalty. A 2008 study from the Netherlands finds that, “Among gay/bisexual workers those with disclosed identity earn on average 8% more…. Independent of the specification used, the penalty for not being open… moves around the 5% [mark].”

It pays to be out on the job. And it pays to be out in your personal life.

At Pride This Year

Investment & Relationships

September 12, 2011

I often think about changing the name of this blog into, “Les in the finance”. I write a lot about relationships and sex. And relationships work a whole lot like investments.

"People thought I went on vacation but actually, I spent the summer lost in the sewers."

In trading, everyone wants the best possible return on their investment. We also look for the best possible return in our love life. “I gave you the best years of my life!” “If I wasn’t with you I’d be already married!” Valid anger when we don’t get what we’re promised. Even if that contract was entirely imaginary.

That return on your money is also weighed by the risk factor in each investment. Some of us keep just a few investments, but they are low risk. Sure, it may not be so exciting or spontaneous, but at least we are sure that the girl is not going to cheat or do anything crazy, right?

And some of us like to gamble with high-risk investments. We go after the straight girls, the girls already in relationships, the emotionally unavailable women. High risk also implies high payoff. It’s a thrill.

If you’re in this second group, pretend you’re an investment banker, or, at the very least, a hungover finance student. Diversify your portfolio. Some high-risk is okay – but make sure it’s not the only stock you’ve got. Take a look at some of the more stable securities. Play around with an older, established company instead of the hotshot young venture. Balance your 2 or 3 volatile stocks with a few solid and predictable ones.

Alternatively, some of the craziest success stories on the market come from betting it all on that one. Is listening to your intuition worth betting millions on something that looks very likely to fail?

Is My Friend Gay?

September 3, 2011

I got an email the other day. The summary is as follows:

“Les, I’m a straight girl, but I have a question about a friend. Everyone in our group of friends is convinced she is gay. We’ve thought so for years, but she keeps dating boys. What gives? We totally don’t care if she’s gay or not, but we’re confused. Are we wrong? Is she in the closet?”

I’m not a sexuality expert by any means, but I’ll take a shot at it, ok?

Could be anything. Your friend might be gay, straight, or even bisexual. I know, very helpful, right?

But let’s break it down. I think you really have two questions here. First of them being, if she’s gay, why does she date boys? And the second one, if she’s not gay, why do we think she is?

She might be bisexual, in which case both of your questions are resolved. Your gaydar’s beeping, she’s not straight, but happens to be dating boys because she wants to. Cool.

Maybe she’s straight and you’re all wrong. That may happen if you’re relying on appearance points stereotypically associated with lesbians – short hair, baggy pants, interest in cars or sports… In that case, it’s best for your group of friends to re-evaluate whether it makes sense to apply general stereotypes to your particular friend.

And finally, your friend might be gay.

Who Can Tell?

Could be she’s gay and in the closet and doesn’t want anyone (including you) to know. Maybe she will come out at one point when she feels more comfortable. Or maybe she will decide that other aspects of her life are more important than being out. For example, some people value religion over all else and want to lead a heterosexual lifestyle even though they recognize that they are gay. Though there are some that will disagree with me, I don’t think that this is always necessarily wrong. If you’re consciously making a choice like that, it’s not all that much different from priests choosing abstinence. In any case, being open about being gay is a personal choice, which you should leave up to your friend.

On the other hand, it also may be the case that she is gay and doesn’t even know it herself yet, but you do. Many times, our friends and our families pick up on the fact that we’re not straight way before we get it. We’re socialized to be straight, to “think straight” for years, and it’s no wonder many of us don’t realize that we’re gay after years of failed boyfriends and hundreds of The L Word episodes. But as it is our nature, we are subconsciously attracted to women and don’t pay the same type of attention to men. Friends and family often notice those subconscious signs, though they don’t necessarily know what it is they’re noticing – what we look at, how we touch, where our interests lie. I remember in the first week of college, I met an openly lesbian roommate of a friend, who immediately said to my friend, “your gay friend is so pretty!” My friend: “Who, Les? She is not gay!” Well, fastforward to this day and me writing this blog.

Whichever option your friend’s situation falls under, it should be pretty simple for you. Keep an open mind; don’t criticize her choices; talk to her about her feelings and thoughts. Thanks for asking, and hope this helps.

Last night was very interesting.

First of all, I didn’t meet any of the three friends I was planning on meeting. Various reasons: one was sick, another one had to sort out her thoughts, and the third one I just happened to miss.

On the other hand, I got to see the start of gay pride in this city and meet plenty of new people. Wow. I will summarize my feelings on pride in the next post, but in this one I just want to cover the usual me being young and crazy stuff.

So, first of all, my gay guy friend has the best friends. They are really fun and thoughtful and cool to go out with. One of his friends is getting married soon! So happy for him. He’s been with his boyfriend for years, and clearly in love. We were just walking around the district to see what was going on, and met two random girls on a porch of their apartment smoking and drinking wine. They shared with us, and so we made new friends.

Then we ended up in Les Bar. So lipsticky! Perfect. Flirting starts at the door.

This one girl was trying to hit on me but ended up saying that her English is better than my Spanish. Pass Go, do not collect points. Instead, slept with the Architect. Got La Azafata’s number for next time.

The Slayers