I’ve accidentally erased this post two times and lost all the funny in the process. Grrr, crappy hotel connections! Sagittariuses are some of my favorite friends with benefits.

How to Keep or Repel a Sagittarius Girlfriend

Even the femmiest Sagittarius girls are knights at heart. These girls are brave, honest, and hate all restrictions.

A Sagittarius lesbian needs to truly believe that what she is doing is making a difference in the world. Where a Capricorn will grit her teeth and put up with a high-pressure corporate job for the faint glimpse of a better future, and where a Scorpio will silently hook up with her co-workers to release stress, a Sagittarius will quit and buy a one-way ticket to Indonesia. She will live on the beach, surf by day, and help kickstart microfinance grassroots organizations by night.

Lucy Liu Lesbian

Don’t be fooled by the demure look. She can kick your ass.

Seduction of a Sagittarius lesbian begins when you first meet her. Though she will tell you she doesn’t believe in love at first sight, you either impress her right away or forget about the scissor dance. Try a mix of the following: mysterious air, quick wit, and style. For clothing, well-tailored and short is a winning combination. For talktime, the social energy of an Aries or a Gemini seems to do the trick. Sprinkle a little bit of shy on the side so she feels like she needs to protect and guide you. Remember – she is your princess in shining armor!

The Sag les girls would love nothing more than for you to join them on their adventures. Explore new horizons together! The horizons can include fitness, new food, saving the world – or the occasional lounging by the pool followed by dancing all night.

If you can prove your worth as a trusty sidekick, you’ve got yourself a friend for life. No one is more loyal than a Sagittarius. These les girls are the best at being friends with benefits, in part because they don’t do jealousy. She is the one you can call at 3 am for straightforward, no-strings attached sex. But if the next day, you get back with your ex-girlfriend, she will be truly happy for you (and maybe even relieved that she no longer has to get up in the middle of the night for your booty calls).

Speaking of sex, Sagittarius is the proverbial “butch in the streets, femme in the sheets”. This lesbian will do what she needs to in order to please you and she is very enthusiastic. But topping her is the real key to keeping the Sag les in your bed.

If you do decide to take it a step further and can match the Sag les as a partner in crime, show her that you understand how faithful and dependable she is. The best way to compliment a Sagittarius is to casually mention how amazing she to your friends and have her accidentally overhear it. She will be surprised to find out how much you value her.

As a girlfriend, the Sagittarius lesbian will never complain and will focus on supporting you. Just be ready to share her attention with friends, co-workers, and even strangers. She might be getting up at the middle of the night to fix their problems now (though typically she’ll stay away from hands-on sex therapy). So keep your insecurities and possessiveness out of the relationship! The more carefree you can stay, the better your chances of keeping her.

To break up with a Sagittarius, overanalyze her, yourself, and your relationship. Bonus points for long, intricate “woe is me” stories. Be negative and clingy; do not leave her side in public. At first, she will try her best to listen to your sad accounts and to get you out of the black hole she perceives you to be in. But she will be the one to file for divorce as soon as she is sure she’s never getting back the old adventurous, relaxed companionship she signed up for.

Stage one. The Sagittarius doesn’t really care. She’s not a Capricorn or a Virgo les with a virtual Excel spreadsheet in her mind. Her take on minor issues is “Whatever.”

Stage two. Hope. The Sagittarius lesbian listens to you, spends time with you, and becomes just a little more involved. She might even try to limit her time with the crew of IT guys from work. “I need to work on our relationship” will be her mantra.

Stage three. This is the “What the fuck” stage. Sagittarius does pretty well at seeing the big picture. When things change from white to black, she just might notice and be flabbergasted. Sagittarius doesn’t really understand why someone would just keep doing the same shitty things over and over again. She might sign you up for therapy sessions, the gym, take you to bowling – anything that she can think about to get you out of the funk. Keep in mind that by this point, Sagittarius is a little angry that this seems to be ongoing. Sag lesbians are great at fixing short-term problems, but long-term issues depress them.

Stage four. Sagittarius is done. Once she has decided to leave, there is no turning back. Where an Aquarius might just slip out of a relationship, Sagittarius will make it precisely clear: she has a new home, planning to date a new girlfriend, and has packed her suitcases. Okay, love? Bye.

Favorite Damsels in Distress: Gemini and Aries

Will Leave Burning: Pisces and Taurus