I’ve accidentally erased this post two times and lost all the funny in the process. Grrr, crappy hotel connections! Sagittariuses are some of my favorite friends with benefits.

How to Keep or Repel a Sagittarius Girlfriend

Even the femmiest Sagittarius girls are knights at heart. These girls are brave, honest, and hate all restrictions.

A Sagittarius lesbian needs to truly believe that what she is doing is making a difference in the world. Where a Capricorn will grit her teeth and put up with a high-pressure corporate job for the faint glimpse of a better future, and where a Scorpio will silently hook up with her co-workers to release stress, a Sagittarius will quit and buy a one-way ticket to Indonesia. She will live on the beach, surf by day, and help kickstart microfinance grassroots organizations by night.

Lucy Liu Lesbian

Don’t be fooled by the demure look. She can kick your ass.

Seduction of a Sagittarius lesbian begins when you first meet her. Though she will tell you she doesn’t believe in love at first sight, you either impress her right away or forget about the scissor dance. Try a mix of the following: mysterious air, quick wit, and style. For clothing, well-tailored and short is a winning combination. For talktime, the social energy of an Aries or a Gemini seems to do the trick. Sprinkle a little bit of shy on the side so she feels like she needs to protect and guide you. Remember – she is your princess in shining armor!

The Sag les girls would love nothing more than for you to join them on their adventures. Explore new horizons together! The horizons can include fitness, new food, saving the world – or the occasional lounging by the pool followed by dancing all night.

If you can prove your worth as a trusty sidekick, you’ve got yourself a friend for life. No one is more loyal than a Sagittarius. These les girls are the best at being friends with benefits, in part because they don’t do jealousy. She is the one you can call at 3 am for straightforward, no-strings attached sex. But if the next day, you get back with your ex-girlfriend, she will be truly happy for you (and maybe even relieved that she no longer has to get up in the middle of the night for your booty calls).

Speaking of sex, Sagittarius is the proverbial “butch in the streets, femme in the sheets”. This lesbian will do what she needs to in order to please you and she is very enthusiastic. But topping her is the real key to keeping the Sag les in your bed.

If you do decide to take it a step further and can match the Sag les as a partner in crime, show her that you understand how faithful and dependable she is. The best way to compliment a Sagittarius is to casually mention how amazing she to your friends and have her accidentally overhear it. She will be surprised to find out how much you value her.

As a girlfriend, the Sagittarius lesbian will never complain and will focus on supporting you. Just be ready to share her attention with friends, co-workers, and even strangers. She might be getting up at the middle of the night to fix their problems now (though typically she’ll stay away from hands-on sex therapy). So keep your insecurities and possessiveness out of the relationship! The more carefree you can stay, the better your chances of keeping her.

To break up with a Sagittarius, overanalyze her, yourself, and your relationship. Bonus points for long, intricate “woe is me” stories. Be negative and clingy; do not leave her side in public. At first, she will try her best to listen to your sad accounts and to get you out of the black hole she perceives you to be in. But she will be the one to file for divorce as soon as she is sure she’s never getting back the old adventurous, relaxed companionship she signed up for.

Stage one. The Sagittarius doesn’t really care. She’s not a Capricorn or a Virgo les with a virtual Excel spreadsheet in her mind. Her take on minor issues is “Whatever.”

Stage two. Hope. The Sagittarius lesbian listens to you, spends time with you, and becomes just a little more involved. She might even try to limit her time with the crew of IT guys from work. “I need to work on our relationship” will be her mantra.

Stage three. This is the “What the fuck” stage. Sagittarius does pretty well at seeing the big picture. When things change from white to black, she just might notice and be flabbergasted. Sagittarius doesn’t really understand why someone would just keep doing the same shitty things over and over again. She might sign you up for therapy sessions, the gym, take you to bowling – anything that she can think about to get you out of the funk. Keep in mind that by this point, Sagittarius is a little angry that this seems to be ongoing. Sag lesbians are great at fixing short-term problems, but long-term issues depress them.

Stage four. Sagittarius is done. Once she has decided to leave, there is no turning back. Where an Aquarius might just slip out of a relationship, Sagittarius will make it precisely clear: she has a new home, planning to date a new girlfriend, and has packed her suitcases. Okay, love? Bye.

Favorite Damsels in Distress: Gemini and Aries

Will Leave Burning: Pisces and Taurus


As soon as the baby Scorpio enters her teens, she gets a little present from the universe. Her breath turns into sexual poison, and no one stays unaffected by it. If there is one girl in your life who is mysterious, alluring, and sexual in the most casual situations, it is probably the Scorpio lesbian. If you want to get rid of her curse – read on!

How to Keep or Repel a Scorpio Girlfriend.

While the baby Scorpio usually doesn’t realize the amount of sexual venom in her blood, it doesn’t take her long to figure it out. A Scorpio is almost never egotistical, but she does need to get in lust with herself first prior to moving on to other women. Scorpio is her own best lover. Think Santana Lopez from Glee: once she figured out who she was and what she wanted, there was no stopping her.

Once you do meet a fully hatched Scorpio les, how do you seduce her?

You need to be the most original, the most mysterious woman she ever came across. You need to be organized, put-together, and independent. Hints, insinuations, and flirting are great side weapons to keep the Scorpio’s interest, but you need to be ready to be honest and open, too. Games infuriate Scorpios. She will want to open up to you more as she gets to know you, but you have to do it first. A Scorpio lesbian hates feeling dependent on others or vulnerable.

She would tie you up.

She will tie you up.

Scorpio is either your best friend or your worst enemy. The alternative is to be non-existent in her world. To love a Scorpio lesbian is to believe with your whole heart that she is the very, very best (think Brittany S. Pierce’s feelings for Santana). You can’t love a Scorpio “in sickness and in health, for better or for worse” – Scorpio les is never “worse”!

If a Scorpio knows she is loved, she is the best girlfriend on the planet. She can do anything and better than anyone. She is generous with her money, with her attention, with her love. However, she is also demanding to you and to herself. If you match the demands, together you will be invincible. And don’t forget about your appearance. A Scorpio les cares a lot about hers, and you need to show a matching inner discipline. If you are this lesbian’s partner, you can’t wear the same sweatshirt and skinny jeans all year long. Put some thought into it!

In sex, please keep your dirty words to yourself. Oh, you’re welcome to DO as many dirty things as you’d like. But just do them, let the Scorpio be a pillow princess every once in a while. Even the mighty get tired of dominating all the time.

Scorpios do not break up. And if they do, they are typically the ones who do it first. But if you decide to make sure the two of you don’t talk again, criticize her. Better yet, fuel her self-criticism. Dress badly. Smell like fish. Keep your secrets and spread all of hers. Here are the stages you will go through when getting rid of her.

Stage 1. There can be nothing’s wrong in a Scorpio’s world. Nothing. She is perfect. Hence, you are perfect. Done!

Stage 2. Scorpio gets a little paranoid. Less about you, and more about herself. Is she missing something? Should she be doing something different? Can she do something better? So she starts asking her partner some questions. More often, statements. “Not sure if you saw, but I called you yesterday.” “There is no dinner today.” “Someone showed up here saying she was your girlfriend.” If she gets answers, she will consider them carefully. She is very fair and will definitely consider her partner’s explanations. That is, if the partner can be calm enough to have a discussion.

Stage 3. Quiet depression stage. Although a Scorpio girl typically looks inclined to drama, she actually hates scandals. This stage is when the Scorpio les spends lots of time with her friends and family, and very limited with her significant other. She does not address the issues in her relationship until she is ready to leave.

Stage 4. The Scorpio les leaves her partner. This sign more often than others is able to stay fuckbuddies with her exes. But there are no more feelings, no romance, no adoration. She feels selfish for leaving and will feel shitty about leaving (hence the extra sex). But she leaves anyway, like any good masochist.

Will attract: Virgo and Sagittarius.

Love/hate relationship: Leo and Capricorn.