As Usual

May 25, 2013

I’m working on the Sagittarius post. It will be ready sometime this weekend, I’m sure!

I’ve also been a little scandalous lately. Or maybe a little masochistic? Straight, married, and salt on her neck and my taste in her mouth.


Pretty Much Sums It Up


So my kick back into the sack has been especially interesting.

I took a 2-month long break from sex. My longest so far. To be fair, though, I had quite a busy month right before the break, so it all balances itself out.

I went to a conference for work, telling my friend that bedroom activities were the farthest thing from my mind at the moment. He responded that every time I tell him that, I end up bringing back a crazy story.

Don’t want to divulge all the details, but I have to say that it started with swapping the game rules in Never Have I Ever. Penalty kisses instead of penalty shots.

I’ve never really minded losing in that game, anyway.

Manual To Straight Women

October 15, 2011

As straight women are the kryptonite to the lesbian community, I thought some of you may find this useful. Or maybe you’ll just have a laugh at how silly/dedicated I was when younger.

This Can Be Your First Step...

Skype conversation with a friend from a year ago. 

LesInTheCity: when i was young and stupid and had sex with straight girls

LesInTheCity: i measured their readiness for sex by how they were breathing

LesInTheCity: you know, girls have a different respiration rate when they’re aroused?

LesFriend: as if they were a bit nervous?

LesFriend: faster?

LesInTheCity: deeper

LesFriend: ohh

LesInTheCity: and slower

LesFriend: ive never noticed thatt.. how did you figure it out

LesInTheCity: and some muscles tense

LesInTheCity: well i slept with tons of straight girls 😀

LesInTheCity: i had to learn to read the signs

LesInTheCity: i didn’t want to hit on the wrong friend you know

Is My Friend Gay?

September 3, 2011

I got an email the other day. The summary is as follows:

“Les, I’m a straight girl, but I have a question about a friend. Everyone in our group of friends is convinced she is gay. We’ve thought so for years, but she keeps dating boys. What gives? We totally don’t care if she’s gay or not, but we’re confused. Are we wrong? Is she in the closet?”

I’m not a sexuality expert by any means, but I’ll take a shot at it, ok?

Could be anything. Your friend might be gay, straight, or even bisexual. I know, very helpful, right?

But let’s break it down. I think you really have two questions here. First of them being, if she’s gay, why does she date boys? And the second one, if she’s not gay, why do we think she is?

She might be bisexual, in which case both of your questions are resolved. Your gaydar’s beeping, she’s not straight, but happens to be dating boys because she wants to. Cool.

Maybe she’s straight and you’re all wrong. That may happen if you’re relying on appearance points stereotypically associated with lesbians – short hair, baggy pants, interest in cars or sports… In that case, it’s best for your group of friends to re-evaluate whether it makes sense to apply general stereotypes to your particular friend.

And finally, your friend might be gay.

Who Can Tell?

Could be she’s gay and in the closet and doesn’t want anyone (including you) to know. Maybe she will come out at one point when she feels more comfortable. Or maybe she will decide that other aspects of her life are more important than being out. For example, some people value religion over all else and want to lead a heterosexual lifestyle even though they recognize that they are gay. Though there are some that will disagree with me, I don’t think that this is always necessarily wrong. If you’re consciously making a choice like that, it’s not all that much different from priests choosing abstinence. In any case, being open about being gay is a personal choice, which you should leave up to your friend.

On the other hand, it also may be the case that she is gay and doesn’t even know it herself yet, but you do. Many times, our friends and our families pick up on the fact that we’re not straight way before we get it. We’re socialized to be straight, to “think straight” for years, and it’s no wonder many of us don’t realize that we’re gay after years of failed boyfriends and hundreds of The L Word episodes. But as it is our nature, we are subconsciously attracted to women and don’t pay the same type of attention to men. Friends and family often notice those subconscious signs, though they don’t necessarily know what it is they’re noticing – what we look at, how we touch, where our interests lie. I remember in the first week of college, I met an openly lesbian roommate of a friend, who immediately said to my friend, “your gay friend is so pretty!” My friend: “Who, Les? She is not gay!” Well, fastforward to this day and me writing this blog.

Whichever option your friend’s situation falls under, it should be pretty simple for you. Keep an open mind; don’t criticize her choices; talk to her about her feelings and thoughts. Thanks for asking, and hope this helps.

The Other L Word

June 27, 2011

FOUR is the count of straight girls starting a conversation about their panties with me today.

This just further proves that everyone wants attention.

Straight girls, gay girls, igual.

Well, we already knew that.

After all, we have the Real L Word.

Here’s what I like fine:

  • Pretty girls on my TV who are lesbians – because, yay lesbians
  • Girls who drink and do some drugs and have responsible and irresponsible sex – because, this happens, is a normal part of life, and it’s nice to see people enjoy themselves
  • Girls who don’t do crazy stuff and focus on building their lives: career, marriage, babies – because, this is also normal, we all do this too

Here is what I don’t like:

  • Seeing the same plot points over and over again. Case in point: Whitney sleeping with random women, hooking up/breaking up with Sara and/or the girl of the week. It’s boring, it’s predictable, and shows no personal development whatsoever.
  • Not seeing any type of background or larger picture for why bad/good/interesting decisions are made. What kind of lives did Cori and Kacy lead prior to the Big Sperm Search? What do Chanel’s parents think of her being on a lesbian TV show? What does Francine do when she’s not with Claire? How does Whitney finance her drinking habits/women habits? Why did Kelsey think it’d be great to move into Romi’s flat? Why do they discuss private stuff with Kelsey’s mother?

So many questions. (And let’s not start on some other questions I have, like HATS??? Really?)

Editing goes a long way (I’ve worked in TV for some time), but if there was no crazy stuff to record, there would be no crazy stuff to broadcast. For example, The Ex never engages in one-night stands or crazy drama. Even if someone really tried to make her out to look crazy on camera, maybe the only thing that could help the editor would be the excerpts from her conversations with me where I’m telling her about my revolving door.

So I wouldn’t blame the shitty editing for the way that some of these women are coming to light. It’s a good thing that we have all kinds of models of lesbian life: ones that we may want to follow and ones that we should be careful not to turn into.

Wasn't it a trainwreck?

This Week, TXT-style

June 25, 2011

In text messages to my friends:

[Wed, 0:37] I just ordered another full glass of vodka.

[Wed, 1:34] Def not on a break anymore.

[Wed 6:05] No, just left. She was 36!

[Wed 15:53] Coffee with HotProf! She saved me from a hangover and told me I am not a slut.

[Wed 17:41] Actually she has slept with as many girls as I have! Not bad for a straight.

[Thu 0:15] Took 10 straight people from my class to a gay bar… Straight girls are currently touching each other’s thighs.

[Thu 8:15] And she left at 8 am which wins her points in my book.

[Thu 14:05] Shots are evil. Women in my bed are evil.

[Fri 2:27] in les bar with HotProf…. she  says doesn’t do women anymore.

[Fri 2:48] we just got into an argument over who would top.

[Fri 2:58] may have told her she’s full of shit..


June 8, 2011

I have a presentation and opportunity pitch tomorrow but I cannot concentrate at all.

I have this professor. Who’s 30 and hot and straight. Um, maybe “straight”. Incidentally, also my advisor.

We’ve been going for coffee. Nice, innocent coffee. Not “coffee”. Oh, and sometimes drinks. Also innocent, though half my class thinks we’re sleeping together. And we’re not.

Oh, my class made up a rumor about an orgy between me and her and her supposed gf and a guy in our class. The guy was supposedly just watching though. Well, that’s nice.

But we’re not sleeping together.

I’m not even sure I would want to.

Except… Today I found out that not only she used to be more promiscuous than me, she also had a much more varied experience. Up to this point *I* was the one in my group of friends with the most varied experience.

Basically, our lunch conversation led to me thinking about ropes in my last class. And our Whatsapp conversation was…. not very PG-13. And now I have a link to a private BDSM club.

Um, that was SO not what I was planning on learning in business school.

Poker Face

April 14, 2011

I feel like i am playing an interesting game of poker. I’m not exactly sure how long I will stay in, depends on how well each round goes. At any rate, if I lose a round, it’s okay as long as I didn’t put all my chips in.

And I typically like putting all chips in. Thrill of high risk I suppose.

Maybe because i lost my last game so spectacularly, I am being especially careful here. I’m thinking all my bets through in this one.

Round 3 was over yesterday, and I won a few more chips. Next one in a couple of weeks.

Frida Kahlo, 1931

Les Girls’ Kryptonite

February 18, 2011

We danced, talked, smoked, met strangers, and drank wine/bailey’s/rum/vodka. Overall a very lovely night at a tiny les bar in the middle of the City X gay district.

I was having a hard time concentrating on regressions and acceptance zones in my morning class today. Besides the sleep deprivation (only 2 hours of bedtime last night…. not enough), I was also in deep thought about straight girls, a.k.a. lesbians’ poison of choice.

Straight girls must have secret classes on hypnosis or roofies or something, because why else are we so attracted to them? When I take my straight male friends to gay bars, I don’t even have to teach them the ways of the gaydar. The one girl who I think is cute for sure will be straight and will probably end up snogging the said male friend under the fluorescent lights.

My  theory is that we gay girls are just very compassionate people. We can sense that a girl is straight and feel bad that she’s missing out on a whole world of pleasure. Because I’m such a nice person, I’ve “turned” a few straighties. But given the option, I’d rather go with a 100% les girl any day of the week 🙂